Not so Bad Day

Sunny days like these are all i ask for ❤

Dear friend,

Today was not a good day, it didn’t start so good, but it ended fine tho. So not so bad, I guess…

Anxiety was kicking in, and I lost grip of myself I couldn’t control my thoughts it got chaotic and bad. I almost gave up on living.

I know I should fight these kinds of days, if I give up now then it’s not good for the future, I will always be the person who gave up and couldn’t fight.

Giving up would be the last thing I would wanna do, I know I’ve set my life values and principles on not giving up, I even wrote an essay in my 10th grade, it was about John Cena. Didn’t see that coming did you?

Hahaha but jokes aside, I really admire JC, His values and principles are what got me out of my comfort zone, It’s he who inspired me to speak up and participate more I guess.

Having principles and values is like having a guitar that you won’t play and it’s got dust on it and the strings are rusted. We have to follow them, I try my best to follow my values but I couldn’t handle it today, I was on the verge of giving up.

I think days like today are important, it challenges us, it shows us that we are far from being there, it shows us that we have to work on it until it becomes obvious. What I’m trying to say is that our values and principles we have shouldn’t need a reminder, it’s like a habit you know you will follow, without an external push and there’s no failure for the habit I guess.

As individuals, We unite in our values.

The common denominator of mankind — values.

I hope I’m making sense.

I also yelled at my sister today, I also apologized for my behavior, I let the anxiety and anger take control over me. I’m still practicing to pause for a moment before I do anything like this and hurt others as well as ourselves, it’s difficult but I think it’s one of the important things that I need to learn.

I think one of the causes is clarity, we are not clear of things or situations and we assume things and that leads to overthinking and that leads to anxiety and 100 other things that are all delusional.

We somehow know that it’s not the case or there’s a slight feeling that we are making stuff up but we still go ahead anyway, I think it’s good that we pause during these moments and have deep conversations with ourselves.

If not ourselves, I think we can talk to someone like you or someone who looks at a different perspective and clears all the dirt from our lens so that we can clearly see what’s really happening and that’s all we need.

We all desire clarity because having a sense of certainty reduces anxiety, stress and brings peace of mind.

Sometimes we need to get out there
Sometimes we need to get in there.

Here’s a gentle reminder —

When we know what we want to do,
knowing when to do it is the hard part.
Get em early so you don’t have to get em as often.
Prevent before the cure, habilitate before the re.

Want her don’t need her.
Do this and you have a chance, don’t and you won’t…
the one we all lust for, the constant unknown.

I know I’ll get through this, not any time soon but I know I will.

See it was not a bad day. It’s important to have days like these.

Love Always,
Mr. Peanut Butter

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